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Journal it Out: Let Go

October 31, 2014

Sometimes you have to throw caution to wind – just let go.

It’s not always easy to do of course. Life throws us so many curve balls, right? And you either hit those out of the park or you swing and miss. Sometimes you see (or should see) those balls coming and sometimes they are totally wild pitches. Hmmm. I have no idea where these baseball analogies are coming from, I don’t even like the game … maybe became the home team (San Francisco Giants) won the World Series this week??? No clue.

But much like this past World Series was for those that are passionate about the game, my life has been a roller coaster of emotions lately. So much so that it has been hard to find any creative mojo. However, one of the Life Book 2014 weekly classes caught my attention – called Expressive Florals taught by Tamara Laporte. In the class Tam used her hands and very few tools (the other end of a paintbrush, acrylic paint and some watercolor crayons) to create a pair of gorgeous flowers. Actually they are “expressive” flowers – meaning they are not meant to be specific flowers or even defined flowers.

Two things about this class immediately grabbed my attention: (1) she used her HANDS – childhood finger painting!!!! and (2) there was no intent to try to paint a real flower, so no pressure to make something necessarily recognizable. This was something I could wrap my over crowded brain around!

LB-42b
Up until now, I’ve only worked on a relatively small scale – 9 x 11 watercolor paper is as brave as I’ve been able to bring myself to be. After all, the bigger the piece, the more glaring it’s shortcomings, right? But I had an 11 x 14 canvas in reserve (for something special, someday) and I decided if I was going swing for a home run I might as well have both hands on the bat. (Geesh! What is the matter with me??)

Full disclosure: I take no ownership at all of the subject matter here. I merely followed along with the lesson and didn’t deviate in terms of color or composition. What Tam did, I did (or tried to do)  – my brain couldn’t handle more than that. But I tell you what … getting my hands in that paint – literally tapping it around and smearing it? Then blending with my fingers and scraping at it with the wrong end of a paint brush? I actually started to see some of my pent up emotions on the canvas. Although you can’t seem them now (and it wasn’t part of the lesson), under some of those layers of paint are the names of a couple of people in my thoughts lately, along with a few words representing some of the emotions I’ve been feeling. I realized that I was letting go … not that the things on my mind had been resolved. Not at all. But it was like a pressure value had been released. When I finished the piece, it really did feel like a bases-loaded home run. Not that I made the best art piece in the world, but rather I had accomplished something integral to creating art. For just a little while, I stopped thinking. I permitted myself to let go and just enjoyed the process. When I was finished, my heart was just a little lighter – I guess you could say “the crowd roared”.  Lol. Enough already with the baseball metaphors. You get the idea right? I’d love to hear about your pressure value releases – how do you work through life’s wild pitches?

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5 Comments

  1. Su Hall

    I bet you did have fun! It shows in the piece!

    I’m agoraphobic and hardly ever leave home. I have adjusted nicely, but, I miss talking about my ‘schtuffs’ with friends or whatever. I wasn’t fully aware of just how much until my sister, who moved back to the area a few months ago, took me out. She really needed a driver, just that one week, to drive her home from physical therapy, but, she treated me to lunch. I obliged and am so glad I did! I ended up going every Wednesday! She doesn’t have to go any more, but, we both thought it would be nice to continue our Wednesday outings. We plan to get together every week.

    What made my mind up for me was that I sat and literally spewed off at the mouth, family-style, for two solid hours! I had so much pent up emotion! I had tried Photoshop-ing, but, I couldn’t even get into it very much. I had recently had to eliminate a male friend from my life as it was toxic and not good. I hadn’t really talked to anyone about it! It was cleansing.

    Your painting, Vicki. I love it! I am similar. If I am not feeling that great. I go for doing the course material or tutorial or challenge, exactly as the example, too. I guess we do figure it is easier – we don’t have t think as much. But. By the time I am about, oh, half-way through it, I start substituting images of my own and adding different things here, taking out some there. It renews me!! I have even noticed that, when I have a really good ‘session’ on Photoshop, I am exhausted when done! It’s all I can do to post it and shut down my pc. That’s one reason why I hardly ever post my art! LOL

    My gratitude to Dr. Adobe!! LOL Creativity ROCKS!!

    Thank you for sharing your experience! Whether you realize it or not, it helps me.

    Luv ya!

    Su

    Reply
  2. Hannah

    The flowers look lovely! Nicely done!

    Reply
    • Vicki Robinson

      Thank you, Hannah!

      Reply
  3. Karli-Marie

    Awesome sale Vicki, and thanks for the freebies! I love all the work you’ve been doing, so proud of you!

    Reply
    • Vicki Robinson

      So great to hear from you again, girlfriend! Hope up are doing well – and thanks so much for the nice words!

      Reply

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