For instance, I thought making little decorative hand soaps was a great idea. I spent time trying to color match the soaps to my friends decor so they would now how much I cared about my craft. Two days after delivering my gift to a neighbor, I got a call from her. Prepared to bask in the glow of her admiration for my cleverness, it was somewhat shocking to learn that her husband had taken a big bite of one of the “chocolates”. Now I know why you never see brown soap. 🙂
In my quest for a craft less likely to make my friends sick, I took an online class on hybrid card-making. I thought you might enjoy reading what I posted in the (now defunct) site forum following that experience.
My Epson Presentation Paper, Matte arrived today, so I started on Day 2’s card after dinner.
Step One. “Print the card.” Wow that Epson paper is beautiful! Even on my HP! Just lovely. Step One completed.
Step Two. “Cut brown card stock to 7 x 10.” Brain fart while moving between instructions on the computer screen and the work area (distance of about 3 feet) and cut brown card stock to 7 x 5. Cut new sheet of brown card stock to 7 x 10. Step two: check.
Step Three. “Cut out all elements on the page.” Check. “Use the circle punch to cut out the circle.” Open brand spanking new circle punch and spend 15 minutes trying to figure out how to align the circle with the blade. Enter hubby. He suggests first cutting the circle shape a little closer and then turning the punch upside down so I can see the alignment. Oh. Step three: check.
Step Four: “Use scallop punch on edges of three paper strips.” Open brand spanking new scallop punch. Spend 15 minutes test punching my 1 inch scallop punch, trying to figure out why the scallop is inverted from the picture in the tutorial. Enter hubby, who looks at computer screen and informs me that I can’t do what I’m trying to do, must have bought the wrong kind of punch and it’s definitely too big. Oh. Alternate instructions: “If you do not have a scallop punch, try placing a ruler against one edge of each of your small papers and tearing a strip toward you.” Ummm … have you TRIED tearing a tiny strip off of a tiny bit of Epson Presentation Paper, Matte???? Return to computer, reprint card on much thinner HP Premium Presentation paper. Meticulously recut paper strips and tear edges. Step Four: check.
Step Five: “If you want a brown border to show around your papers, cut paper strips 1/4″ more.” Damn. Back to paper trimmer, but Step 5: check.
Step Six: “Adhere green paper to card, map paper underneath it, text paper underneath that. Gently curl paper edges up for dimension.” Um … can’t get the green paper to stay put while adhering map paper, so use glue stick to hold it. Carefully adhere papers strips and realize none of them are aligned. Reprint, cut, tear and adhere paper strips, starting in reverse this time. Realize why tutorial had us start with green paper. 20 minutes later, have reprinted, recut, torn and adhered paper strips again, relatively adequately. Step 6: check.
Step 7: “Staple Congratulations tag onto the circle tag.” Aced it on the first try!! Check!
Step 8: “Adhere one edge of ribbon to underside of map paper.” What???? We were supposed to use repositional glue on the map paper?? Oh. Skipping Step 8.
Step 9: “Place small dot of adhesive ….” Open brand spanking new box of Zots glue dots. Spend 5 minutes trying to figure out how to get the Zots glue dots off the backing and then off of my fingers. Skipping Step 9.
Step 10: “Fold a segment of ribbon onto the adhesive dot, creating a little loop. Repeat steps 3 and 4 a few times, working your way to the left. Leave a straight area where the tag will overlap the ribbon. On the left side of where the tag will go, add an adhesive dot and fold the ribbon under to make a loop going left. Repeat step 7 a few times, leaving the rest of the ribbon straight”. Might have been doable if I’d had 1/4″ ribbon instead of 1″ ribbon. Skipping Step 10.
Step 11. “Use foam/dimensional adhesive to attach the tag.” Foam adhesive? No one said anything about foam adhesive. Scrape Zots glue dots off my hand and onto back of tag. Try to position tag as directed; realize torn paper strips are not positioned properly and tag won’t fit. Stick tag on top of green paper strip (shhhhh … don’t tell anyone). Step 11: check.
Done! Time elapsed: 4 hours 6 minutes. Call to hubby to admire my “it looks like a first grader did it” card.
Enter hubby. Surveys work space, strewn with paper trimmer; partially torn paper strips; circle and scallop punch packaging; open roll of ribbon; and Zots glue dots roll (which has now stuck itself to the evening paper) and says, while shaking his head “You were muttering an awful lot. Perhaps you should take remedial paper cutting, tearing, adhering class.”
Off to pull the rest of the Zots glue dots off my hands (and out of my hair? WTF????) and clean up. After all, Day 3 awaits!
Well, there you have it. And in case you’re wondering, that was my last adventure in card-making!